STAGES OF ACQUISITION: Infatuation: An unreasoning love or attraction - "I want it." Justification: Moral excuse used to explain - "I must have it!" Appropriation: To take to one's self in exclusion of others - "IT'S MINE AT LAST!" Obsession: A compulsive or irrational preoccupation - "My Precious!" Resale: The action of selling something previously bought - "Make me an offer."
1 Once you have their money, you never give it back.
2 The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.
3 Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
4 A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.
5 If you can't break a contract, bend it.
6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
11 Latinum isn't the only thing that shines.
12 Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
13 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
14 Anything stolen is pure profit.
15 Acting stupid is often smart.
17 A contract is a contract is a contract ... but only between Ferengi.
18 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
19 Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
21 Never place friendship above profit.
22 A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
23 Nothing is more important than your health ... except for your money.
24 Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.
25 You can't make a deal if you're dead.
27 There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
31 Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother.
33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
34 War is good for business
35 Peace is good for business.
47 Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
48 The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
52 Never ask when you can take.
57 Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them.
58 There is no substitute for success.
59 Free advice is seldom cheap.
60 Keep your lies consistent.
62 The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
65 Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff.
69 When she discusses money for "favors", charge her what she'll pay.
74 Knowledge equals profit.
75 Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.
76 Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
79 Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
82 The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
85 Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
89 Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
94 Females and finances don't mix.
97 Enough...is never enough.
98 Every man has his price.
99 Trust is the biggest liability of all.
102 Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
103 Sleep can interfere with an opportunity.
104 Faith moves mountains...of inventory.
106 There is no honor in poverty.
109 Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
111 Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them.
112 Never have sex with the boss's sister.
113 Always have sex with the boss.
121 Everything is for sale, even friendship.
123 Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
125 You can't make a deal if you're dead.
139 Wives serve, brothers inherit.
141 Only fools pay retail.
144 There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket.
162 Even in the worst of times, someone makes a profit.
168 Whisper your way to success.
177 Know your enemies...but do business with them always.
181 Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
189 Let others keep their reputation...you keep their latinum.
- A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.
190 Hear all, trust nothing.
192 Never cheat a Klingon...unless you can get away with it.
194 It's always good to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
202 The justification for profit is profit.
203 New customers are like razor-toothed gree-worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
208 Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
211 Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
214 Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.
217 You can't free a fish from water.
218 Always know what you're buying.
223 (incomplete, but presumably concerned the relationship between "keeping busy" and "being successful")
229 Latinum lasts longer than lust.
236 You can't buy fate.
239 Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
242 More is good...all is better.
255 A wife is a luxury...a smart accountant a necessity.
261 A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
263 Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
266 When in doubt, lie.
284 Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
285 No good deed ever goes unpunished.
286 When Morn leaves, it's all over.
299 After you've exploited someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them next time.
- Exploitation begins at home.
(The unwritten rule) When no appropriate rule applies, make one up.
- When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits ... kill the messenger.
- Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity.
- Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal.
- Money is money, but females are better.
- Why ask, when you can take?
- A good lie is easier to believe than the truth.
- If that's what's written, then that's what's written.